My beloved Nana passed away a few months ago, and since then I’ve had quite a bit of communication with her. As you’d expect, death has given her a completely different perspective on what life is all about. She recently came through to me to share some things she wished she’d understood better when she was alive. She also asked me to share the advice she gave me because she knows that it will benefit you, too.
I’ve certainly heard some of this stuff before but the passion and urgency with which she shared it has given it more weight for me this time around. She had a very strong “stop wasting your time on bullshit” attitude when she came through with this message.
The advice she gave me is below, exactly as I channeled it. My thoughts and insights are in parentheses. I’d love to know if this advice resonates with you, or if you’ve received similar wisdom from your deceased relatives and friends!
It’s not about them, it’s about you. Everything in life comes down to your perception, your experience. Whatever happens in your life, you choose how to perceive it and what to do with it.
It’s not about you, it’s about them. You may be the center of your universe but your impact on everyone else is what really matters. Focus on what you can give, not what you can receive.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. The world needs more love and less cynicism.
Your time here is so short. Use it to learn, to create, to love. Appreciate the beauty in the everyday, in simple things, but don’t get caught up worrying about the little things. So many things that seem important are ultimately insignificant. (If you have trouble discerning what’s important and what will turn out not to be, do a quick intuition gut-check by asking yourself how you’ll feel about that situation in a month, a year, or five years. This technique has helped me release my perfectionism and control-freak tendencies by allowing me to realize that so many things won’t matter to me tomorrow or next week, let alone years from now.)
Ask for what you need. And don’t feel guilty about it.
Enjoy yourself.
What people think of you is unimportant. Keeping up appearances is unimportant. What matters is being yourself and having fun. (As an Air Force Officer’s wife–from the 1940’s to the 1960’s no less–her life revolved around keeping up appearances. She was excellent at it. Although she enjoyed entertaining and dressing up, she admits now that the focus on coming across a certain way made her natural perfectionist tendencies so intense that she was often depressed and anxious. She’s realized that because she was more concerned with what other people thought of her than what she thought of herself she was never able to cultivate true self-love, which caused her a lot of unhappiness.)
Love yourself. No one else can ever love you enough if you don’t love yourself fully first. Understand your inherent worthiness and don’t feel guilty about appreciating it. (I say this all the time to my clients: you cannot give to anyone else what you haven’t already given to yourself, and you cannot receive from anyone else what you haven’t already received from yourself. Loving yourself is the key to all the love you will give and receive in your lifetime.)
You’re enough as you are. And you already have everything you need to do what you’re here to do. (See above about perception; if you feel like this statement isn’t true for you, it’s just a matter of shifting your perception. I encourage you to just try on this new belief for a few days and see how things change for you!)
Don’t waste your time trying to control other people, situations, or anything else that’s outside of you. Focus on being yourself, acting with love, and sharing the light that is within you. Attempts to control will only create unhappiness for you and everyone around you. (Basically, go with the flow, accept things as they are and choose flexible and loving responses. Allow things, and people, to be as they are so that you free up your energy to create more love and positivity. The more we resist reality and try to control it, the more we fall out of alignment with our higher selves and the divine love that we naturally embody.)
Focus on now. (She says she spent a lot of time thinking about things that had happened, especially things that she wished had gone differently, and even more time worrying about things that might go wrong in the future. She realizes now that she missed out on so much joy because she wasn’t present enough to experience it.)
Nurture your dreams and then act on them. The time will pass anyway, and much faster than you could ever imagine, so you may as well use it to create the life you want for yourself.
Enjoy yourself. (Yes, she included this one twice because she says that “Joy is the essence of being. The more joy you feel, the more you raise your vibration and the collective vibration of everyone who is alive right now. Joy brings you into alignment with your higher self, and tapping into this authenticity will allow you to have the experience you intended to have when you incarnated. Joy will lead you to your soul purpose and connect you to the divine oneness that we all are.”)
