When we set our sights on achieving things that really matter, the stakes feel high. The more deeply we care about something, the more vulnerable we become to fear and doubt.
The real problem with fear is this: it often prevents us from taking action. When we don’t act, we feel stuck. And the longer we feel stuck, the harder it becomes to act.
But here’s the thing: we’re collaborators with the universe and our action is required.
What Are You Afraid Of?
The next time you feel stuck, take some time to get to the root of that stuckness. I guarantee that fear of some sort is keeping you stuck. What are you afraid of? I suggest you make a list, without editing or judgement. Write down every fear and every reason why you aren’t taking action. Some may be obvious, some may be surprises from the nether regions of your subconscious. Bringing all of this stuff into your conscious awareness is the key to moving past it.
Once you’ve identified your fears, allow yourself to feel them honestly, no matter how difficult or painful that may be. (I promise this will make them so much less scary and powerful!) Look at your list and really sit with each item on it. Don’t judge yourself if some of the things you wrote down seem ridiculous. Your feelings are valid, regardless of how unfounded or unrealistic they may seem to your logical mind.
Finding Expansiveness
Fear, attachment, and control go hand in hand. When we become attached to a specific outcome, we feel a need to control things to create that outcome.When we’re busy trying to control things, we lose sight of all the other options that may be available to us. And when we think we only have one viable option, we become very vulnerable to fear: what if things don’t work out?
When you find yourself falling into this trap, take off your blinders. Consider that there are countless ways that things could work out positively. Trust in this fact, even if your conscious mind can’t see those options at the moment. Finding expansiveness in your perception will help relieve your anxiety and need to control so that you can open to your intuition.
Remember that right things happen in right timing. In my experience, when something doesn’t work out how or when we want it to, it’s because there’s a better way. A way that leads to more growth, expansiveness, or opportunity. A way that is more aligned with our intended experience.
Sometimes it may take a while for you to see how the puzzle pieces fit together, but eventually you’ll be able to look back and see how things transpired to move you forward on your path. It’s normal to feel fear and anxiety, but notice it when you do and remind yourself that when you release the need to control the outcome, you allow things to unfold in the best possible way.
Take the Next Right Action
One of the biggest reasons we feel fear is because the future is uncertain. It’s human nature to want to see our entire path laid out clearly before us so that we can plan and prepare for each step on the journey. We want to know what’s coming and that our actions will create specific results.
The reality is, though, that you don’t need to see your whole path. In order to move forward, you only need to see the next step you have to take. This requires a certain amount of faith, but it is truly the quickest and easiest way to make progress toward what you want.
When you feel overwhelmed and stuck, the very best way to proceed is to take a moment to be quiet and ask, from your heart, “What is my next right action?” (Obviously you can adjust the wording so it resonates with you, but this is the gist of it.) You don’t have to say it out loud, but you absolutely must believe in the power of your words and trust in whatever answer comes.
The answer will come to you intuitively so it could appear in a variety of ways (a sudden sense of knowing, an image, a feeling, a phrase that just comes to mind, etc.). Keep in mind that because you’re asking for your next right action and not an entire game plan for your life, the action will likely be much smaller and more discreet than some of the bigger, more complex options your conscious mind likes to focus on.
It may take some practice to be able to ask for the next right action and trust the answers that you get, but as with anything the more you do it the easier it gets. You can ask in the moment as needed or use this tool as part of your daily quiet time. I’ve even had clients who, in the midst of very difficult situations or periods of feeling really stuck, have asked for the next right action, taken it, and then immediately asked for the next one and taken that, and so on and so on in order to keep moving forward.
The important thing is to ask, trust in the answers that come, and of course, take the recommended action!
Surrender Your Fears
One more helpful tool for moving past fear and into inspired action is the practice of surrendering or offering our problems to the Divine (or Source, the Universe, God, whatever you want to call it!). This is a huge part of our collaboration with the universe. We don’t have to do everything all by ourselves and asking for help is encouraged!
When offering or surrendering, use wording that resonates with you. The most important thing is that you really feel it in your heart and trust that help is coming. Know that the universe will meet you where you are and help you move forward.
Here are some examples of prayers and intentions you can use to help you surrender your fears, attachments, anxiety and need to control:
I surrender my fear of X, and my attachment to Y. I am open to receiving whatever serves my highest good.
I offer my journey to you. Please show me the next step on my path.
May I graciously release whatever wants to go and openly receive whatever wants to come to me.
May I trust in my own inner guidance to lead me step by step.
I surrender my attachment to X and trust that whatever comes is for my highest good.
I offer my fear of X.
Please help me release my need to control and allow me to trust that things will unfold in the best possible way.
Next Steps
Of course the practice of being deeply honest with yourself isn’t usually easy, but I promise you that the more frequently you take time to go through the process outlined above the easier it will get. You’ll find that you’re calmer, happier, and more able to take action toward what you want.
If you’d like help with getting overcoming fear, getting unstuck, and moving forward on your path, I’d love to work with you.
