Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt like you had no clarity? When you were stressed or anxious about almost every aspect of your life, didn’t know which move to make next, or just didn’t feel sure of yourself? Maybe you identify with these feelings now.
In my experience, almost everyone ends up in this sort of funk at some point. The upside of getting down is that when you get really uncomfortable, you’re often motivated to make positive changes. But how do you do it, especially when everything feels overwhelming and difficult?
Here’s a step-by-step plan for connecting with yourself so you can start moving forward again:
Slow down. This means different things to different people but typically involves removing extra commitments from your schedule and creating some time and space for you to be by yourself. Reconsider what’s necessary and then take a break from the things you don’t have to do. If there’s something in your life that feels like a chore or is draining, even if it’s a positive thing (social gatherings, exercise), consider doing less of it for a little while.
Sleep more. Even if you think you get enough sleep, you probably don’t. More rest will rejuvenate you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Something will probably need to come out of your schedule to make more time for sleep. Maybe you can watch less TV, spend less time on the computer or phone, or let a few chores slide so that you can prioritize yourself and your health.
Make a list of everything that brings you joy. Make this a running list that you can add to as you think of things. Everything and anything that you truly enjoy doing or experiencing needs to be on this list, no matter how big or small or silly or strange. You may find in the course of making this list that very few of these things are actually part of your daily life. That’s okay! Awareness is the first step of change!
Add joy to your life. This sounds really lofty but if you look at the list you created in the previous step you’ll find that there are some things that would actually be pretty easy to incorporate into your life on a regular basis. Some of them may already be part of your daily life, but maybe you can do more of them.
For example, one of the things on my list is petting my dog. Of course I pet my dog everyday, but when life is busy with work and family it’s easy to just give him a few scruffs here and there. When I consciously decided to spend more time petting and snuggling him, and gave myself permission to do it without feeling guilty because I should be doing something else (i.e., something more “productive”), I received so much more joy from doing it and I know he felt the difference too.
Some things may be harder to incorporate, perhaps they’ll require time and/or money that you don’t feel like you have. But you can make a plan to make it happen. Don’t overcomplicate things, or set insane goals that you’d be hard-pressed to meet. The point is to get to your happy, joyful place more often, not to make yourself feel even worse.
You may look at this brief plan and think it’s hokey or too simple to work, but I’m telling you, it works. I’ve seen it work for myself, my friends, my family, and my clients repeatedly. It’s easy with our busy lives to get off track, but consciously deciding to slow down, nurture yourself, and reconnect with what brings you joy is basically a way to hit the reset button on your life.
Sure, you may have a lot of other changes you want or need to make to have a life that you love, but starting with the basics will shift your energy, mood, and attention away from being down and stuck and toward possibility and happiness.
You create your reality based on how you feel. How can you feel more joy today?
